February 3, 2003
And since I looked such a wreck, co-workers were talking about me and wondering if I wanted to kill myself. I drank, and drank, and drank. Wine was my best friend for a while and it helped me cry and kept my brain from wandering or just thinking too much. I'd have a little wine, call Hope, and we'd talk for hours while I consumed more wine. Hope was my closest human friend for about a month until I was able to suck it up and get my apetite back. Then I gave her life back to her.
On January 11, I checked out Seko's website and found she'd married on January 9, and to prove it, she had about 30 photos of her wedding in the house I helped her pick out. I was dying to know what she was doing but every time I'd look at her website I'd feel so horrible. I went to counseling at my church...then joined a divorce support group, but every time I attended I'd feel worse. It forced me to open wounds I was trying to close. So I just stopped going.
One of the good things that came from Scott2 living with me was his lady friend needed him to take care of her puppy, a Chihuahua named Presley. She was so adorable, and about 1/4 the size of Gizmo. Gizmo loved to chew on her head.