The Way I See It

December 12, 1987
Dummies, Loonies, Beer, Bacteria, and Reptiles

I wish...I wish there wasn't a giant sperm three inches from my lips>>>

Mikey's a freak...uhhh...I mean he's special too>>>

My one and only "birthday party". I was 22, and had just received orders to Japan! I was going to Yokota Airbase, about 30 miles outside of Tokyo, and 340 miles south of Misawa Airbase, where Karen was stationed.
Our office had many things to celebrate. Stacey (sitting with me in top photo) was pregnant, Reynaldo was promoted, Chris was going to England, Fitz's AIDS test came back negative, and Frank (bottom left) was...uh...don't remember, but he really liked the "Happy Sperm" I bought him for Christmas (it's on his hand and on the cake). He's my superintendent now, but back then, a Senior Airman as I was.
Stacey was very sweet, but very married. She'd arrived in our office the day after Karen left. We talked a lot and she was very special to me.

	They bought me an inflatable Godzilla to take to Japan, which was really cool, but took up a lot of floor space...and just about gave my roomate, Dan, a heart attack when he came home. Second photo from the top on the left, you see James Maupin in a compromising position (he lives down the road from me here in Virginia now) blowing up Godzilla...while Teri watches and Stacey holds him up. Third from top, on the left, you see Fitz, one of the coolest bosses I've ever had, of Jamaican descent, also trying to stop Godzilla from falling (it was his apartment). He was a little nuts...we used to pretend we were gay overs at work. I was pretending, and I'm pretty sure he was too. Two months earlier, Fitz and Frank, the top two in charge of our office (Bill Keller was Fitz's boss), went on a trip to Kansas City, leaving me in charge (uh oh). Work was very slow, so we created life-size replicas of Fitz and Frank. We used cardboard tubes and large film cans for the heads. Everyone
	brought a piece of a uniform. I drew Fitz's face and James drew Frank's. We put them at their desks with feet propped up and unlit cigarettes in their hands. We directed questions to the dummies (and got away with it...leadership must have liked me). Fitz left his half-full coffee cup on his desk, and after a week it had grown a purple life-form in it. Stacey put it in a paper cup and named it Frank. I brought food for it(usually juice box back-wash). It grew and prospered. When Fitz and Frank returned, they were definitely amused by the dummies(Fitz kept smiling and shaking his head). Unfortunately, Chief Crompton, who had no sense of humor, was visiting that day...in five minutes! We had to scramble. As we rushed around the room trying to hide the dummies, body parts began to fall off. "Frank" was sprawled across a desktop, as Stacey and I ran "Fitz" across the room...and the Chief walked in just as Fitz lost a leg. We both stopped, I smiled and said, cheerfully, "Hi Chief!!!". He didn't smile.

James...I need more air baby!!! Blow me up and spank me like the fire breathing bitch I am!!!wooo!!!>>>

I'm not Frank>>>

Then, a few minutes later, Stacey went to the Chief and said,"Chief, would you like to see Frank??" holding out the

mold culture we'd grown. After the Chief left, Fitz made Stacey kill Frank.

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