August 16, 1996...Designated Drinker

Since my father's death, my mother and I had grown closer. I phoned every week, sometimes more, and we'd started touching on subjects which we hadn't touched on before. It was a good experience for the family, except for the fact that we'd lost our Daddy. Mom was surviving but none of us felt whole again.

In August I bought Miimii and new wedding ring to stop her from complaining about the first one I bought her, and saying she wanted one like everyone else's, not the unique, one-of-a-kind ring which I designed just for her. So, I told her to pick out what she wanted and I bought it for her. Just a bandaid on the disease marriage which I was starting to wonder about. When we were in Spokane, Washington we'd fight but we'd also have close moments. Now that Miimii was working full time at Canon Electronics, she was often too tired for any bonding. We didn't fight as much but we didn't do as much of anything anymore. We had money but we didn't spend any. I so much wanted to go on a vacation together but she was resistant to that. Her job was her life, second was being a mother, and third, perhaps, was me.

Miimii was happy about the ring and agreed to go see the Monkees in concert at Virginia Beach, on the condition that I let her drink as much alcohol as she wanted (I drove). I'm a closet fan of theirs, but she hated them. She was already pretty juiced up here, and we hadn't even left the house. We had fun, and Mickey, Davy, and Peter (sans Mike Nesmith) put on quite a show.

On September 12, my boss told me I'd be going to Incirlik Airbase, Turkey, for four months, starting October 18th. I was in San Antonio, Texas, on yet another TDY, and was looking forward to some rest. This is not what I had planned. Miimii and I went out for a sobering breakfast on the morning of September 15th and talked about this obstacle. I decided I'd be optimistic, as optimistic as I could be under the circumstances. I'd be there, living in a tent, for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's day, my birthday, Miimii's birthday, our wedding anniversary, and Lunch's birthday. But I'd make extra money on the side, from different allowances, like hazardous duty, and when I came back, we could buy that new Honda Accord I'd wanted for so long, and my sponsor (point of contact and person I was to replace) was my old friend from Fairchild AFB, Bob Kowolchuk. But it also meant that for four months, Miimii wouldn't be able to get inseminations of donor sperm. She was afraid that if she got pregnant while I was away, the women at work would spread rumors. Their opinion of her was more important than her happiness and our marriage. For someone who pretended her life depended on having children, her priorities weren't making any sense.

Mascot for SASH...Sheep Against Sober Horseys>>>

***Miss Paul has requested that her face not be shown to protect her identity***
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August 16, 1996