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February 1998

On Valentines day I sent Ha flowers, with a poem (my first serious one) I'd written in a separate card. She'd disappeared for two days again and I was very upset because I'd started to fear having my heart broken. Surely she'd received the flowers...? Along with the butterflies and feelings of love I hadn't felt in ten years was that sinking feeling of being led along by someone I staked my waking and sleeping on. Miimii appeared online for the first time in two months to chat, and she told me her best friend was returning to Japan. I was upset, sad, scared, telling her about Ha and wondering where she was. As this was going on suddenly Ha showed up online. I immediately blew off Miimii, and Miimii got very upset. She sent me a few mean emails to which I responded,"You messed up my life long enough. I'm not letting you mess this up" and then I cut her off.
In contrast, Ha seemed surprised about the flowers, almost giddy, and very sweet. She sent kisses, a really cute animated Valentine, and was like a baby in my arms. Of course, this was on a computer, but I was going through a second adolescence. For the next month Ha and I seemed very close, but there were things said that made me feel uneasy.

On February 28th she asked me to phone her from Korea. We talked and laughed for six

It hurts when I hold my arm like this>>>
hours. We sang to each other. While we were talking, she received my letter with another poem I'd written for her . Everything I wrote at this time was for her and she even wrote a poem for me.I'd sent her a lock of my hair, which at the time was a healthy blonde, and when she opened the card she screamed," sent me your hair?!" She liked it. I put red ink on my lips and kissed every letter I wrote to her (I was too proud to buy lipstick). I was soooo smitten--it's almost embarrassing now. Actually, yes, it is quite embarrassing.

I didn't want to make expectations on our visit and besides, I didn't want to mess up a beautiful thing by moving too fast. I'm a bit old fashioned. I skirted issues and told her I loved her too much to spoil a potentially beautiful relationship by rushing into things. I told her I was worth waiting for. It's hard to know what is really going on from 7000 miles away. I'm sure she was thinking the same thing when I sent her this picture of me in my Halloween garb. I can just see her, staring into Christopher Plummer's eyes and longingly saying,"Somewhere in Korea there is a gentleman who will never be a nun". That's my take on it.

Somewhere in Korea is a man who *sigh*...I think will never be a nun>>>
The next day I sent her a beautiful email and she answered me with an email that said,"That is sooo sweeeeeet!!!" She'd melted, or at least I thought so. Then, I phoned her and we talked another 5 1/2 hours until the Osan Airbase operator cut us off. I began writing poetry a few times a week and sending it to her and she'd tell me what she thought. Co-workers asked me why I seemed so happy and I didn't realize it was showing, but I was feeling it. I never knew I could feel that way about someone. My room>>>
Above are rare photos of my room at Osan Airbase, Korea