Well it’s Christmas time in Germany 
Our favorite time of the year 
We’ll tensile the tree with sauerkraut 
And fill bubble lamps with beer 
But this past year has been quite a bummer 
Our pockets and coverts are bare 
There’s drool all over our carpet 
Yet it helps to control the dog hair 
The children are feeling quite famished 
And the Christmas tree is, well…firewood 
Would they notice if Clover had vanished? 
What is Christmas after all…without food? 

So…let’s eat the dog for Christmas 
We'll make her play dead for real 
We’ll Shake & Bake Clover 
And when she rolls over 
We’ll have us a Christmas meal 

I’m sure we’ll all be thinking of her 
Each time we hear our stomachs growl 
So let’s eat the dog for Christmas 
And next year we’ll go back to fowl 

Let’s eat the dog for Christmas 
We'll teach her to fetch on the grill
And when it's intense
Her invisible fence
Will cause her to sit and stay still 

I’m sure she will be quite delicious 
Just add A-1 to canine and “Wow!” 
Let’s eat the dog for Christmas 
With a tennis ball stuck in her mouth

Let's eat the dog for Christmas
We'll tell friends she fell down the stairs
No need for regretting
Because I am betting
She's outlived us all in dog years

Now if we were North Korean
We'd all have to settle for grass
So let's eat the dog for Christmas
And belch dog at Christmas Day Mass

Let’s eat the dog for Christmas 
We'll salivate when we hear bells 
We’ll slice, dice and pepper 
Our pet German Sheppard 
She’s family but…what the hell? 

When Santa Clause slides down the chimney 
We’ll say,” Try this…it tastes like Reindeer” 
We’ll eat the dog for Christmas 
And dog sandwiches ‘till the New Year… 

Now…the children are nestled all snug in their beds 
With visions of puppies (but their dog is dead) 
And Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap 
Will silently wonder, ”What would go good with cat?” 
‘Cause look…once we thought we were starving 
And now here’s a feast we are carving 
Now ain’t that a switch? 
Sometimes life is a bitch 
And life tastes real, real good!