Rudolph has a bar of butter, He's heating it with his nose Donner and Blitzen tied a rope Between Santa's two big toes It's the oddest thing you've ever heard But please don't leak it out...not a word This could just bring the dynasty down Santa's stuck in the bathtub this Christmas And the North Pole can't seem to pull him free The clock is a tick'n There'll be no Saint Nick'n Just "heave-ho, ho's", and "pull, one, two, three!" We blame it on Angus Beef burgers Now the bathtub just won't give him up He'll soak 'till New Year Like a prune in a beer Unless we can pry off the tub It's been a while since Santa's walked And last year the team couldn't clear power lines He's falling to glutony On his half-acre butt and we Think we'll sit out just this time The press senses something is brewing From the flesh-scented chimney smoke spewing It's Santa a cooking We hope no one's looking Seems like only the bad press is free

March 15, 10:41pm
Copyright 2006
Michael Paul