T'was the night before Christmas, And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Not even a moose The stockings were hung by the chimney with care In hope that Mike Saxon, would soon have some hair And in the fireplace At the spot where he falls Was a pile of Ruby dung Just for Santa Clause With the kids fast asleep Tucked in by their mama Mike soon found some peace In his Batman pajamas When up on the roof There arose such a clatter Mike grabbed his shotgun To see what he could splatter He trembled in fear When sound caught his attention "It sounds like reindeer" Or as he calls them, "Vennison" Then there was a splat And a sound like the thunder "What the hell is that?" Mike began to wonder It chuckled at first 'Till it got a good whiff Then it said with a frown "Hi, I'm Mr. Siff"

He said,"Santa's sick, He had too much to drinky And so my good man Who ordered the slinky?" Mike raised his shotgun, And said,"Okay, dance!" When Siff said,"But Mike, I brought your Harlequin Romance!" Then a knock at the door Made Mike change his mind 'twas his best friend Pierre GBU close behind Pierre said,"Put a cat On the top of your head It'11 throw off the laser Or we'll both be dead!" As they both hit the floor The bomb whized o'er the kitties And into the fireplace Into Siff standing shitty There was a loud boom And then a large fireball As jolly old Siff Turned into cole slaw Pierre said,"Sorry Mike, 'bout destroying your house And to top it all off I attracted more moose" But Mike said,"Pierre" Seeing Siff out of commision "Tis easier to ask forgiveness Than to ask for permission"