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The Night Before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas,
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a moose
The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care
In hope that Mike Saxon,
would soon have some hair

And in the fireplace
At the spot where he falls
Was a pile of Ruby dung
Just for Santa Clause
With the kids fast asleep
Tucked in by their mama
Mike soon found some peace
In his Batman pajamas

When up on the roof
There arose such a clatter
Mike grabbed his shotgun
To see what he could splatter
He trembled in fear
When sound caught his attention
"It sounds like reindeer"
Or as he calls them, "Vennison"

Then there was a splat
And a sound like the thunder
"What the hell is that?"
Mike began to wonder
It chuckled at first
'Till it got a good whiff
Then it said with a frown
"Hi, I'm Mr. Siff"

He said,"Santa's sick,
He had too much to drinky
And so my good man
Who ordered the slinky?"
Mike raised his shotgun,
And said,"Okay, dance!"
When Siff said,"But Mike,
I brought your Harlequin Romance!"

Then a knock at the door
Made Mike change his mind
'twas his best friend Pierre
GBU close behind
Pierre said,"Put a cat
On the top of your head
It'11 throw off the laser
Or we'll both be dead!"

As they both hit the floor
The bomb whized o'er the kitties
And into the fireplace
Into Siff standing shitty
There was a loud boom
And then a large fireball
As jolly old Siff
Turned into cole slaw

Pierre said,"Sorry Mike,
'bout destroying your house
And to top it all off
I attracted more moose"
But Mike said,"Pierre"
Seeing Siff out of commision
"Tis easier to ask forgiveness
Than to ask for permission"

December 27
Copyright 1997 Michael Paul
(Footnotes)