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One Hand Clapping

It's been over three-hundred and seventy days,
Minus mid-tour and my TDY
But with every new face that comes along,
An old face must make a goodbye
And although we may cross paths again someday,
A prospect that some of you fear
It will never quite happen exactly the same,
As it happened to happen this year
But if I could go back to a year ago,
And somehow I could make one more pass
Here's the wisest advice I would give you all,
If I lived it all with the same cast

Laura, next time Colonel Snyder ignores you,
Fall down on the floor screaming and kickin'
When asked,"You know systems?" in your thick southern drawl
Troy, say,"Heck no sir, I just raise chickens!"
Deena, when I begin acting friendly towards you,
Run away, you're about the get whacked
And Ken, next time you plan to put up a wall,
Please make sure that our side has the snacks

And Scott, when they say,"You're going to TMD"
Ask,"Can I bring both of my legs, sir?"
And John, when we first meet at Kimpo,
Slowly stroll up and say,"I am her"
And Aaron, don't make your voice go so high
You're beginning to turn the squirrels on
And Matt, next time don't say,"I'm very bitter"
Instead sing them a very sad song

And Angel, when you see Lieutenant Murray,
In alarm black, face down in a sewer
Just go skipping on by with your helmet held high
And say,"Ha!! I'm still shorter than you are!!"
Jamey, next time you jump up on a bull
Don't give him your address in the states
And Sparkles, now who is she anyway?
I just wish she didn't get here so late

Stan, when they ask,"What's the law of the jungle?"
Scream out,"SIR!! I'M A BIG BAD OLD BEAR!!!"
As for me, I would tell myself just one thing
Don't let anyone know that you care

When I think of this year it seems incomplete
Though I've had lots of fun and good laughs
And I want to say,"Woo Hoo!!!" and give a high five
But can only give two-and-a-half
So I guess I feel like a hand waving goodbye
All alone in the breeze as it's flapping
Though it makes me feel jolly, there's a slight melancholy,
Like you feel when you feel one hand clapping

November 6, Copyright 1998 Michael Paul