Goodbye sweet>>>
March 21, 1987
I'd finally decided to moved out of the dormitories, but all I could afford on my own was a mobile home. It was a bit lonely living alone, until Teri and Tammy decided they wanted to move off-base and needed a place to stay. And they both wanted to move in with me. I couldnít have both of them in that tiny mobile home, and to be honest, Tammy scared me a little, and Karen told me that Tammy would smash me. Let me explain...

We'd been co-workers for a few months but just work acquaintances, nothing more. Then the squadron had their annual Christmas party on December 6th. I was wearing my new black, velcro sneakers because I hated leather shoes, and some tight tan dress pants. I could never get that clothing thing right! I just thought they fit my body type better. Annoying details aside, all through the party, Tammy tried to get me to dance with her. She said I was too tense (I still am) and tried to loosen me up with no success. Maybe it was the pants. Then, as I was leaving, she gave me a really long, open-mouth kiss... I'd never been kissed before. I grew up in the basement designing automobiles and electronic circuits. Physical touch from a female was a foreign sensation. I smiled, turned from her, and left. Neither one of us said anything about it after that, but after knowing she felt that way about me, I had a feeling it would be hard to keep things under control living in the same mobile home with her. So, on March 12, Teri moved in, for safety reasons. I

gave her the big bedroom. It was Philís birthday, and that night he came by to go out drinking. He had just turned 21. Teri was still unpacking and then he met her...and his life changed.

A friend drove for Phil and I, and we went bar hopping until the wee hours of the morning. Phil and I tried every drink we could find. I was upset because Karen was being moved to Misawa, Japan, and since I couldn't reach her by phone I thought perhaps she'd blown out of town early to avoid an emotional goodbye from her admirer. Either way, I was losing her. Phil was so drunk that when the bar tender asked him what he wanted he could only point. I never let myself get that far. I could still form words.

On March 20, Karen and I went out to the mall together. We were both very quiet. We went back to her place and looked at photo albums and she gave me this picture. I hung around until she fell asleep. I didnít want to leave. I watched old Star Trek episodes past midnight as she slept on the couch next to me, not knowing if I should wake her or just walk out. Maybe she'd give me a hug? Iíd never lost anyone I cared so much for.
Shortly after midnight she woke and we said goodbye with a handshake, and she was gone.

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