On June 12, I was in the break room at work, getting snacks, and MSgt Gallagher asked me,"So Sergeant Paul, what do you think
about going to Osan?" (South Korea). "You mean
permanently or TDY?" I replied. I didn't get what he was saying...so I said,"Do
you know something I don't?" He said,"You have orders to Korea
right?" I hadn't heard that. I went back to my office, a little stunned,
with my Hershey's bar, and quietly asked my boss,"Did you
hear anything about me going to Korea?" He hadn't, but two hours
later the computer printout showed up. I was going to Korea.
Miimii took it well--I'd told her before, during our long walks, to expect it
one day. It was only one year, and we'd survive. I would spend a year alone in Korea and then return to my
loving wife and cats. I could deal with it, I kept telling myself.
Then things went from bad to worse. My mother phoned me on the morning of June 28...my sister was pregnant. I casually
told Miimii. She'd been in a good mood but eventually got very quiet
and after a few hours she felt sick and wouldn't get out of bed. Then, she
started screaming at me as hard as she could, and it lasted 1 1/2 days. She'd told me
before that if my sister ever got pregnant before she did, she would divorce
me. She screamed that she wanted me out of the house (see, now this is why
I didn't want to come back from Turkey). Don't ask me how, but after almost
two days of this I calmed her down and we decided we wouldn't divorce, but she demanded I got to a room and close the door whenever I spoke
to my mother on the telephone, so
she wouldn't have to hear it. I was miserable in this marriage, and secretly hoped she'd die suddenly so I wouldn't have to be with her, but not have the shame of divorcing and breaking my vow to God. I sat alone praying, while she again napped upstairs. I opened my Bible to see if God would give me guidance, and the first passage I opened was Proverbs 21:9 "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife".
I couldn't take any more. I opened up to Mike Geary at work. I'd never said anything bad about Miimii to anyone before because I believed that a husband who honors his wife wouldn't put his wife down to others. But that day I couldn't hold back. Six and a half years of anger came pouring out and everyone at work was so surprised. They all thought we were so happy. Apparently they hadn't noticed the vein balling up in my neck.