You're cute, gimme some fruit
Chop it up and play the flute
Smash, pound, into a mush
There ain't nobody bakes pies like us 
Oh Jean, hearing her scream
Drowning in her own whipped cream
On the grille of a truck
There ain't nobody bakes pies like us 

Hey Dave, too late to save
Sitting in our microwave
A good friend he was 
There ain't nobody bakes pies like us 
Pies like us 

We live off of pretzels and beer
Because our brains are a smear
Roll the dough into a ball
Throw it up against the wall
Fill our pies with love and good cheer

Ew, Ray, battered and gray
Our flour mixer went astray
He's a pile of dust
There ain't nobody bakes pies like us 

We couldn't find our head cook
He showed up on a meat hook
Hanging like a half a cow
Looking like a bag of chow
Put him in our recipe book

Oh when people die
(Oh when people die) 
We'll be baking pie 
(We'll be baking pie) 

Ew Kyle, picking a pile
Of strawberries he had a smile
Underneath a bus
There ain't nobody bakes pies like us 
Pies like us