Andy (Schleck)
(to the tune of "Mandy")

Everytime you ride your bike
You blow a hole right through my dike
Can I shave your legs?
Can I share your slurpee?
I would lay your eggs
Can I test your pee--

People treated me so mean
When I was you on Halloween
I told them that you rule
Mounted on your Trek
I feel like a fool
They think that I love Shrek

Oh Andy, when you rode and you won without doping
But you abused caffeine,
Oh Andy, if I said that your top tube was sloping
Would you think I was mean, oh Andy?

Posters of you line my halls
Lance blah blah blah blah blah balls
Throw your bottle here
Toss me a team hat
Blow a kiss my way
I never called you fat

Oh Andy, well you raced and you won without doping
Even on CSC,
Oh Andy, and the podium girls you're not groping
Radio Shack up with me,oh Andy

Open up my box
But please be careful
I mailed myself to you
But forgot to leave air holes!

Oh Andy! Well you raced and you won without cheating
But I thought you were Frank
Oh Andy! Who needs Contador and his beef-eating
You can fill my love-tank,

Oh Andy, when you raced and you won without juicing
Andy, you are my PED
Oh Andy, you're a champion who swears off goosing,
Please don't be deaddddddd!!!!!!!

May 16, 4pm, Copyright 2013
Michael Paul, Barry Manilow