The Way I See It

March 28, 1987

We had a blizzard and a foot of snow that day, but dammit, I wanted some sun!!!
It was a very treacherous day.
Melissa had gone back home to Des Moines, Iowa, and Teri and I were stuck in the trailer with nothing to do. Of course, I thought that with all that time and nothing to do, I could get a decent tan, but that was way too painful.
So we went for a drive, all day long. Teri brought a Coke bottle full of some mystery alcoholic beverage and drank herself silly while I, totally sober, did all the driving. I just used her to chip the ice crystals off the wipers. Of course my parents would've had a pair of heart attacks if they'd known their poor son was driving around in a blizzard.

Teri and I had a rocky start. We were great friends at work but once we started actually living together things changed. It was my first lesson in life about co-habitating and its effects on friendships. I was pretty introverted at the time she moved in, and was going through a bit of emotional turmoil with Karen leaving. Teri was just the opposite...had guys over all the time and it made me uncomfortable because I was trying to build some kind of a relationship with her under those circumstances. I was also put down often because I was a virgin...at work too. Back in the mid-80's, virginity was frowned upon. Teri told me once that I didn't know what a relationship was until I lost my virginity. So I thought to myself,"If sex in a relationship is so great, then why is Teri always so angry at her boyfriends?" She had a tendency to throw glasses at me too. Well, we were both very young and naive in our own little ways.

Saint Peter, Saint Philip, Saint Paul and all the angels and saints...pray for us>>>

I saw this as a growing up period, and a good way to sharpen reflexes. We had fun at times, like this time.

We went to see a movie together, bought a ton of alcohol (this was one of my heavier drinking times), invited Phil and his friend (the same guy who drove on Phil's birthday), and then we sat and drank like fish. I was wearing about five pairs of shorts and as I got drunker, I'd pull a pair off just to see Teri freak out. I left the last pair on, of course. I'm pure and innocent. I fell asleep in the hallway, wrapped in a green blanky. About a week later, Phil and Teri started dating. Strangely enough, that was just the ticket for Teri and I. Phil, who was my best friend, would come over and when Teri wasn't in the room, we'd talk guy stuff. When Teri returned, the three of us made fun of eachother. Teri usually stayed with Phil anyway, so I lived alone, and got half my rent paid for. They eloped three months later.

One of my sorta-friends, Don Luna, had received an assignment to Korea. It seemed like everyone I knew was getting shipped out, and I was starting to feel left behind.
So, I changed my assignment preference to show Japan. There was not much chance of me going to Japan, but it made me feel like I was doing something to progress, grow, and learn by requesting something I knew would be hard for me--leaving the United States. It was the thought that counted.
After Teri and Phil started spending all their time together, and after I'd moved out of the dormitories, I didn't see too

many people, and found myself wandering around the place, or driving all over town, being sad and frustrated. I did a lot of bicycling too. My normal 40-mile rides had gone up to 50-miles but I didn't know why I was riding so much. What was I getting out of it? What kind of life is that, just spending hours pedaling around as the rest of the people live lives? Just as I'd realized, three years earlier, that I needed a drastic change in my life or I'd wither and die, I felt the same in the spring of 1987. I had to leave my comfort zone in Omaha, Nebraska.

I had flown.